#1. What is one example of "small stuff" that you let get to you?
If I’m being honest I let a lot of things get to me very often. Especially the little things that I shouldn’t stress over too much. One thing I kept letting get to me is having difficulties on zoom. I’ve had trouble getting on zoom since we started school. Whether it being my mic, bad connection, or even it not letting me get on at all, there are always issues. Then all day I was worried I would get kicked off of zoom or if I got asked a question they wouldn’t be able to hear me. This basically put me in a bad mood all day. Since I was in a bad mood any little thing would annoy me. Like my sister always asking for help or my mom telling me to clean my room. I started realizing my mood changed a lot but it was always when I had class. So I decided to take a deep breath every time something went wrong, keep trying to fix the problem, and if I can’t fix it not to panic. Just email my teacher to let them know the issue and text a friend to keep me updated on what we are doing in class. Instead of trying the same thing over and over until I was so frustrated, I’d be in a bad mood all day I decided to ask a friend to help. I had to understand the fact that some things will not work and when this happens I have to figure out a different solution.
#2. How does your ego distract you?
When asked this question I thought of so many things to write about but I think the strongest one is letting my ego hold me back from being the greatest version of myself or just bring doubt about what I can accomplish. I’m an extremely shy person when I’m not comfortable with a person or even the environment I’m in. Since I’m so introverted trying new things is scary for me. For example, applying for leadership, I was so nervous I never thought I would get in. If I’m being honest if it weren’t for my family or friends who were there for me during all my crazy breakdowns about applying and the interview I probably wouldn’t be in this program. Why, because I would’ve convinced myself not to try this. My ego would tell me I’m not good enough to make leadership. I’m also definitely an over-thinker. When it comes to anything really a school, sports, home life, my ego is what causes me to stress about the little things. Things I shouldn’t let get to me. Like thinking the world is going to end when I think I haven’t studied enough for a test or as simple as getting angry when my sister wears something of mine. My ego also likes to compare me to others. That I have to act or look a certain way to fit in. Phrases like “why can’t I look like her” or even “I’m never as outgoing or smart” these thoughts start roaming through my head making me feel as if I’m less. All these thoughts eventually start to bring me down. I’m sure many, just like me can say their ego is what causes fear, the fear of rejection or failure. The fear of not being good enough. But although my ego tries to hold me back I don’t let it have full control over my life. Which is the reason why I’ve had so many great experiences.
#3. THoughts on Inner peace?
When I think of inner peace I think of being accepting of yourself and satisfied with the person you have become. When you are at a point of your like when you are understanding of the things that occur. Your life is full of tranquility and relaxation. Just by thinking of inner peace, it brings joy and delight. For a moment I forgot about all my stressors. I believe that it’s true with inner peace all the needs, wants, and concerns just go. Instead of focusing on all the negative, you are focusing on the good. Being determined to achieve your goals instead of worrying about what is in the way of your goal. I think this is because with inner peace your mind just becomes bright and full of positivity you become unworried of all the bad and instead it is motivated to do good. When you have inner peace, your perception of life changes it becomes easier to concentrate on your goals, you feel the need to help others, and to accomplish great things and the feeling that there is nothing in the way to stop you.
#4. Do you notice how your Body and mind feel when your thinking is out of control?
Yes, I can definitely notice the difference in my body and mind when my thinking is out of control. Normally when I'm overthinking, my anxiety starts to kick in. Whether it is because of a presentation I have to do and I'm scared I won't do well. Or even just as simple as, having a lot of homework. My heart normally starts racing really fast and I start fidgeting a lot. I also tend to shake my leg. All my thoughts quickly start turning negative. I start to focus only on the bad that can occur from a situation and not the good. Like if I’m going to present I start thinking ”what if I’m too boring”, ”what if I forget what I’m saying” or, ”what if talk too fast” instead of telling myself, ”you prepared well for this” and ”you will do great”. I overthink a lot of things and I do turn little things into big things. I feel like I’ve always done that, for as long as I can remember I’m always worrying about things that don’t have a huge significance. It definitely occurs more at night which causes a lot of sleeping problems. instead of relaxing and trying to fall asleep, I’m stressing and my mind is wide awake. I can feel everything change about myself when I’m overthinking, and it is not just the thinking that’s causing these changes. It is the stress, fear, and anxiety that comes from overthinking that causes my heart to race or to just be in a down mood.
#5. Can you recall a time when you made something "Big" and Dramatic when in reality it was "small" and not that big of a deal?
Since I was young I can recall myself being a pretty dramatic child. I was pretty emotional and would cry about literally anything. As I’m growing up I think I’ve matured a lot but sometimes there are moments when I become dramatic. I am the type of person who makes something that wasn't so big, a huge deal but I tend to keep all those thoughts to myself. The time I do remember when I acted like what people would call a “drama queen” was on the day of my birthday. I was having a small party but I wanted to make it really fancy. I had started planning weeks ahead but once school started I stopped. Next thing I knew it was two days before the party. My plan was to DIY most of the decorations so it was going to take time. I had started working on it but when the day came I still had a lot to get done. I woke up early and started working on things. As hours started to go by and it got closer to the actual party I became more stressed. My brother then decides to tell me that I should’ve been smarter and started working on this sooner. He was making little remarks throughout the day and it was becoming really annoying. Out of nowhere I lash out and start yelling at him. My siblings and I are always making sarcastic jokes with each other but I was already stressed and in a bad mood. So one comment he said made me really upset. Right after I realized I overreacted and felt sorry. Obviously, I apologized but it definitely wasn’t one of my best moments.
#6. What does your "In Basket" look like and will it be there tomorrow?
My regular day “ In basket ” consists of going to school, getting good grades, doing chores, and doing homework. It is the basic “ In basket ” that almost every teenager has. Many have similar things in there in baskets but everyone has a couple of things that are different or just more detailed. For example, for me, it is taking care of my cat, working out, and even something as simple as eating. I always have to remind myself to eat because I get distracted doing other things. I always have a long list of to-dos and those were just some examples of them. More can be, Helping my sister with homework or studying for a test. I can go on and on with a list of my “in basket”. Sometimes I feel like I have a hundred things to do. My “In basket” tomorrow will probably hold the majority of the things I have today. Not much changes. Although things can be added or taken away, the basic to-dos are still left. After reading this chapter I realized that I will always have things to do and the list will never end. There are times when I feel so tired of all of it and just want to give up and stop. I lose motivation to do any of my school work or even get out of bed. I over-exhaust myself with everything I have to do and never take time for myself and to have fun. I just have to keep reminding myself It is okay to take a break once in a while.
#7. Do you believe you are a strong listener or can use some work?
I believe I can come off as a good listener but I also believe even if you are really good at something you can always improve. I think being a good listener is important. Like during school listening to what a teacher is saying or home listening to your parents. Listening doesn't always have to be about someone telling you to do something or following instructions. It can be empathizing with a person when they explain to you what is happening in there life. Situations, when I do need to work on listening, are during an argument. A lot of the time I want to prove I'm right so I interpret the other since I'm trying to defend myself or debunk their argument. Which ends up causing a bigger conflict. I just need to remember that even when I'm upset or angry listening is always best. When someone comes to me when they have a problem, there have been times when I don't even know what to say, but I do listen. Sometimes even not saying anything just hearing the person out and letting them know you care for what they say makes everything better. Like I said most of the time I am a good listener especially when someone is opening up. I know if I were going through a problem I would want someone I know will listen and not judge. This is why I always try to listen even if I might not understand or relate to what they are going through. I think By listening you are also gaining trust and building a stronger relationship.
#8. recall a time you had given, did you expect acknowledgement?
There isn't time that I can remember that really stood out to me. Although there was a time that I remember feeling joy after I did something good for a friend By surprising her on her birthday. It actually happened this year, she couldn't have a party because of COVID so she was bumped. Without her knowing I went to a store, bought a poster board and markers, and decided to make her a huge poster. On the poster obviously, I wrote happy birthdays but also memories we had together and I drew some pictures. I also went out to buy her balloons and a present. I surprised her at home and dropped everything off at her door and I waited outside. I knew she was upset and I just wanted to do something to make her feel better. It wasn't the fact that I did this for her that made me feel good, it was seeing how her face lit up when she saw what I had brought. Her reaction, let me know that what I did meant a lot to her. I was not accepting any type of acknowledgment, but I still in some way received something from this. What I mean by this is that on my birthday guess what she did. Yes, she also brought me a poster with a present. After thinking about it I realized how a little act can turn into something bigger. Since I did something for her she also did something for me and will probably do the same for someone else.
#9.Have you experienced someone else "stomping" on your story?
I feel like this happens a lot even if someone doesn’t mean to, they just don’t realize it. I know sometimes I catch myself turning a conversation back to myself but when I do I switch it back to them. There have been times when I’m telling someone a score I’m proud of and then someone says their score is higher on the same test. Another time something like this happened was when I took a family trip and I was telling someone the things I did there and then they started to talk about their trip when I wasn’t done talking. Those were some of the times I didn’t think too much of but one time that did make me feel a little upset was when I got the position of point guard on my basketball team. A week after the point guard from last year who had moved came to visit. When we were talking about how I was point she began saying she is so upset she left, she could’ve been point again, and how great she could’ve been if she were. She is really good but I was excited to share the news with her and I thought she would have been happy for me but instead she just talked about herself. I didn’t see her much after this situation since she had moved but I still very well remember our conversation. It made me feel like she wasn’t proud or didn’t care.
#10. What are some ways you stay in the present moment?
When I feel stressed or start overthinking about my future I try to talk or text someone I feel close to. Sometimes I don’t even tell them anything is wrong just talking helps keep my mind off things for a bit and I know they will eventually say something to make me laugh or smile. Other times when I've been feeling down for a couple of days I try to make plans. Right now is harder to make plans but just going out for a walk with a friend is good. Something where I have to get up and leave my house. Being in a different environment is just more uplifting. When I hang out with friends I start to forget about all of my problems and only focus on the present. I think when you are having fun you only can think about the present. You can only think about how much fun you are having then. So for me going out, and distancing myself from problems at least for a little while helps. Even if I have a lot going on, I get distracted and am only focusing on the good things that occur in my life at that moment.
#11. Think of a time you were frustrated, what lesson did you learn?
A time I was frustrated was when I was not allowed to play volleyball because of an injury. It was right before a game, we were warming up and one of my teammates hit the ball and as I went up for a set my finger bent wrong. I was in pain but I decided to still play. I let my coach know she said to just ice my finger. The next day my entire thumb became extremely swollen. I am pretty stubborn and continued to play even though I was told by multiple people not to. The week after I went up for a set again, and this time I felt extreme pain. I quickly stopped playing and went to the doctors. They said I had broken my thumb and couldn’t play for at least 3 weeks. According to them, this could have been prevented if I took 3 days off during the first injury. Since I had previously hurt my finger one wrong move can cause a bigger injury which is exactly what happened. I was so upset and frustrated I couldn’t play. Now looking back this situation taught me to listen to others, especially if it’s because they want me to be safe, as well as to be patient. If I had listened to my parents and let it heal I would have only been off for 3 days instead of 3 weeks. Those three weeks were terrible, I couldn't practice or play at games. The day I was finally able to play again I was so happy. What was better was, since I let my finger heal it no longer hurt while I played
#12. Let the other person be right, what were the initial feeling?
My sister was going to drive me to a hair appointment which was at three but I got out of class at 2:30. She was in the car at 2:30 and began beeping, to come out. My class ended a little over 2:30 so I couldn’t just leave, when I got in the car she was mad and was saying it wasn’t her fault if I was late and she was not going to rush there. Then in the car, she was just making snarky remarks about how ungrateful I am and how I don’t don’t value her time. I wanted to say something, to defend myself but instead, I stayed in silence until a couple of minutes passed and I changed the topic. I doubt she realized I wasn’t trying to argue because she was in her head. Not saying anything was a bit frustrating but I’m glad I didn’t because it avoided an argument. Thinking back if I were to have said something we would’ve argued and the whole car ride would be awkward I would’ve arrived at my hair appointment annoyed. When I got home my mom told me how my sister had a big assignment she didn’t know was due today so she was stressing. After this, I realized why my sister was acting so irritated. Even though she had something to do, she still made time to take me, so it's good that I didn’t say anything and just let her be.
#13.Do you ever have a reflective moment when you realize you are small in this world and your 'drama' isn't a big deal?
I think about this pretty often. Like I can be in my room thinking about all the bad things occurring in my life and I begin to feel sorry for myself. I’m a person who keeps a lot of my problems to myself and I don’t like to talk about them. So not many people know what I got through it or what I have been through. Normally it’s at night when I’m in my room and I begin to think about life. Then there’s a moment when I begin to think about my family and friends and I wonder if they have some problems I don’t know about also. Then I think about what other people might be going through and all the problems In the world that are currently occurring. I just go further and further into my head and life to the point where I think back to my problems and realize they aren’t that big like I make them feel. After you come to this realization, you stop overreacting or stressing the little things because you know there can be worse things occurring. Although this is my thoughts most of the time there are times when I feel a bit guilty for not being able to get over a small issue. There might be bigger problems in life but it’s never good to feel your problems are dumb. It's also good to talk about your problems even the smallest one because what I might think is a huge deal might not be to someone else and vice versa. I don’t complain about my problems as much as I used to, because I know that worse things are happening but they are my problems and they will bother me no matter how small they are. It’s good to realize that the world is a big place and our problems might be small compared to it. When a person has not come to this realization, they tend to believe their problems are worse than others and just try to make others feel sorry for them. There is a difference between believing your problem is big when it might not be and making a person’s problem feel small.
#14.What is your mantra?
I’ve recently been saying to myself “you have _______ to get this done”. This phrase just helps me keep track of my work and things I have to get done. I set myself a time I have to get a task done and it is used to manage my time better. It also takes away some of that stress when I feel like I have a lot of things to do. Since I'm breaking those times up it calms me and makes me feel like I have everything together and organized. Another word I tell myself often is to breathe. Especially when I’m stressing, it’s just a reminder to relax. After I take some deep breath it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulder and I can focus again. “ You got this” or “ don't stress” are other ones. These are normally things I say to myself before a big presentation or before a game. It puts me in a more positive mood even if I am extremely nervous. By saying something positive it makes me feel better.
#15.Have you ever lost a relationship because something "small" created a big divide?
This has occurred before especially in the past. I feel like when we are younger we are much more dramatic and make a little thing huge. Although I might still do this I'm not as extra. I always let problems get in the way of friendship and made things much more complicated than they needed to be. Not too long ago I did the same thing with one of my closest friends. Although I had a reason to get upset I should have let it ruin our friendship. I still think about what could have happened if I hadn't made such a big deal of the issue. We have been talking more recently but, due to covid, we can't hang out often. Hopefully, we can go back to how our friendship used to be. I learned a lot from that this experience and wish to grow from it.
#16. What do you hope to do a year from now?
I hope that COVID numbers decrease and society is somewhat at normalcy. I hope that I try to become more extroverted and outgoing. I was already a pretty introverted person before COVID but going into quarantine and not being at school for a long period I began to isolate myself from everyone. So I hope to have a good solid group of friends. I hope I still have a close relationship with my family and possibly grow even closer together. I hope to gain more self-confidence and not be afraid to be myself/ state my opinions. Then hopefully help others find their confidence and be comfortable with being themselves. I don’t think much will happen a year from now but I just hope that I can become an overall better person. Find myself so I can help others do the same. I think confidence can change a person and help them do good in this world. Which is what I hope I can do.
#17. Is life Meant to be fair?
Is life meant to be fair, no but do I want it to be yes. I wish life was more fair but that just isn’t the case. There are people who work extremely hard and are struggling and then there those who don’t do anything and somehow are succeeding. Not fair. There are people who are being forgotten after being murder and never got justice. Not fair. There are people who are judged based on the color of their skin. Not fair. There are people who are being bullied for how they look. Not fair. They are people being mocked for the language they speak or how they talk. Not fair. There are women being treated less because of their gender. Not fair. Society has created stereotypes and social standards that are ...not fair but that is just how it is. I don’t think life has ever been fair and I don’t think it will be anytime soon but I do hope that one day it could.
#18. Do you take the time to be bored?
I think the only time I allow myself to get bored is at night, I put everything away like my phone and computer. I just imagine I'm on a boat drifting away or on a hammock rocking back and forth. I've never tried being bored throughout the day. I've never really thought about being bored as a good thing, once I realize I'm becoming bored I call a friend, work on an assignment, or begin to watch a movie. Sometimes it could be midnight. I've been watching a show for a long time, I get bored and decide to get ahead on an assignment. This is good because I don’t have to worry about an assignment anymore but I wake up the next morning exhausted. I've always struggled with falling asleep since I'm always thinking about what I'm doing the next morning. So recently I've begun telling myself to close my eyes, take deep breaths. At first, it was boring but now it's getting easier to fall asleep because it puts me in a relaxing state. I'm going to try just doing nothing for at least 15 minutes of the day, just shut off, and forgot about all the stress.
#19. Have you been taught to believe high stress is a positive thing?
This is not the concept I’ve grown up with. I've been taught the complete opposite. Many people believe the more stressed you are the more you accomplish. I’ve grown up being told the more stressed you are the harder it is to focus and get things done. My mom is always reminding me to take a break and clear my mind when she sees me stressing. Although I’ve grown up trying to be the least stressed I could it still does not change the fact that I do get very stressed. Whether that be school, home life, or my future I’m always worrying about something. Learning how to deal with stress is very difficult to accomplish and it takes time to learn, when you have had enough and need a break to clear your mind. I’m sure most people are stressed at some point or another which is normal. But being too stressed can have a real negative impact on mental health. What is important is to know that not being stressed does not mean you aren’t doing enough.
#20. When is the last time a wrote a letter to someone with gratitude?
The last time I wrote a letter of gratitude was a couple days ago for the valentine hearts to the soldiers. We cut out hearts and wrote a sweet and memorable letter. I wrote about how grateful I was for their dedication and bravery. The last time I wrote a long letter to someone actually close to me was like a month ago and I wrote it to my mom. I wrote the letter thanking her for everything she has done for me and for always trying to stay strong. I let her know the impact she has created in my life . Today I actually wrote some little notes to three of my close friends. I said things like I love your outfit and thanked them for being such good friends and always making me laugh. They really appreciate the compliments and love. Not only did it make their day, but it made me feel good knowing i made someone happy
#21. If you could change anything about your life what would it be?
If I could change anything right now about my life it would be being a perfectionist and worrying so much about not being alone. I can't remember a time in my life where I didn't care what people thought of me. Always worrying about what people were saying about me. I think sometimes it is good to care about how one is perceived as it assures one is always trying to do good and try their best. There is a limit though one once becomes obsessed with the idea of always being perfect it can become dangerous. You start to feel like everything you do isn't good enough. I tend to put so much pressure on myself to do great things. It is good to push myself but if I could change that feeling of failure after I can't accomplish that thing I would. Also having to rely on others to be happy. I tend to feel like I'm not good enough especially when I see others going out with friends having fun but I'm not. I don't have many close friends, I don't constantly go out, I am not the most extroverted person and I let that get to me sometimes. I hope that one day that mindset changes.
#22. DEscribe a time you turn something into an emergency?
Every year a thing I turn into an emergency is planning parties whether it be my birthday party or a family member or friend I always want it to turn out perfect. I start to stress out when something isn't turning out the way I want it or the day of when the arrival time is near and the decorations aren't done. Normally I don’t even eat that entire day because I feel like I have “no time to”. It becomes very chaotic and I start to think that this party is the most important thing in the world and if one balloon pops, it’s the end of the world and I failed. That is basically how it feels a lot of the time when I’m planning a party. I still enjoy the event even if it didn’t come out perfect so I shouldn’t stress too much about it and I doubt people will realize that one shade of purple is lighter than the other. Planning a party though is definitely something I turn into an emergency.
#23. Analyze: "it puts our quieter,softer and sometimes most intelligent source of thing to work for us on out issues that we have no immediate answers for"
I agree with this quote. It talks about using your back burner to take care of issues that we want to avoid. It uses our self-conscious and calm self to focus on finding the answer. It also takes using back burners correctly. Sometimes I tend to avoid some things because they bring me stress or fear. Even though I know I have to get it done or shouldn’t push it aside I still do. Not often with school assignments or outside of school responsibilities but with problems with other people. Such as avoiding an issue so I don’t cause a huge conflict although sometimes it is necessary to work through it and forgive. Then at times, there is the tiny thought that maybe I should stop avoiding and just do it. Sometimes this can take weeks. I make a huge deal about the small stuff and having those figured out but on the bigger stuff like reflecting or talking through issues, I ignore. For the most part, I don’t think I struggle with procrastination on academic things. I think this is because getting academic things done is not too hard to figure out and I have control over it. I have control over how much I study which will ultimately result in getting a good or bad grade. I have control over whether to turn in an assignment or not. Whereas working through a problem involving another person is not as simple. You never really know how they are going to react and that fear of losing them or feeling like a failure is what causes me to push it back. Eventually, I don’t even think about it and one day after another I decide to do something about it. Probably being me subconsciously thinking about the issue and figuring and working on it. I like when that happens when I finally feel confident enough to do something about it, even if the result wasn’t what I hoped. It meant that I had courage.
#24.Who is one person you would like to thank at this moment and why?
The person I would like to thank at this moment is my cousin Kimberly. She is the person I can go to who I know wouldn't show judgment to whatever I have to say. She matches my energy and I can confidently say that when I am with her I am never bored. She makes my day so much better without even realizing it. Though we don't have that friendship where we show our gratitude in ways of saying we love each other or are grateful for each other we do in different ways by posting each other and some memorable photos or videos. The video colleges that Kimberly makes automatically make my day so much better. We are very close but don't talk every day. Which I think makes it so much better when we talk or hang out. She is my go-to person outside my immediate family when something good or bad happens.
#25. What are you initial thoughts on eye contact and connect?
At first when reading this it seemed a little intimidating. I think the reason for this is that I don't know how someone would take it. Like possibly thinking I'm weird because I don't know them. Then I think about someone else I'm not close to, smiling at me when passing a hallway, which I think would make me happy. It gives me that warm feeling, so now thinking deep into it I think it is a great idea. Not only could it make someone's day but it can open new friendships as you seem approachable. I honestly think I am going to try this because I think it will help me get out of my comfort zone. To put me out there and make new friends. Give Me a chance to gain more confidence and overcome the fear of judgment when meeting new people.
#26.When do you find a quiet moment in your day?
The quiet place I would say is when I'm home alone and get to play the piano. I just play my heart out and it helps me express my emotions. It's also really relaxing. Another thing I do is grab a blanket, go up to the roof while the sun is going down, listen to music while watching the sunset. I try my best, to take some time for myself although sometimes it is really busy to even get 15 free minutes where I truly get to relax. I would say I struggle to be okay with doing nothing. Like being able to lay in bed and relax. I've been trying to learn but it's still difficult for me. For most of the things I do I feel like my brain is still put to work, but learning to just be still is something I will work on.
#27. Describe a time when you were frustrated with someone but "let go"of the situation and moved forward
Thinking about a time when a small issue or issue that didn't have much importance such as my sister forgetting to do a favor was asked and I let it go. It feels nice. This is because I know the “issue” was not a big deal and if I were to have gotten angry I would have created a bigger problem by letting go. I avoided an argument. I also think that sometimes it is good to be the bigger person and not be so petty. Though I do believe there are times when confrontation is necessary, especially if the issue is really bugging me and I just keep it to myself to avoid a bigger problem. If that frustration or issue continues it is important to talk to the other person about it. Keeping it to myself would only hurt me more as I am truly being bothered by it. I tend to try to let things go for the most part and I like it that way, but sometimes it feels like I'm putting my emotions aside to please others.
#28. Describe a situation where you did seek to understand first
I can’t think of a specific time when I didn't try to understand someone. But I'm in general times when I feel like I do this and I'm sure many teenagers can admit to it when it comes to parents giving permission or giving boundaries. Times when they say I can't do something or I have to do something. Sometimes I do get upset or annoyed with the boundaries or expectations that my parents set. normally it’s for a little while then I reflect on their decisions and understand why they said what they did. But if I had just tried to understand them before or after they said it I could’ve avoided an argument. I think a lot of us do this when someone doesn’t agree with what we are saying or when we don’t agree with what they are saying we go into a defensive mode. Where in the moment what you believe is the best opinion but sometimes after really thinking about it you can see the other perspective.
#29.Who is someone you can genuinely talk to?
My younger sister is my go-to person. Whenever I wanna rant, cry, and get a good laugh I go to my younger sister, Ashley. We will have sessions of just talking about how we are feeling or are issues and things that we are struggling with. Most of the time we don’t give each other advice, we just listen and talk. My sister and I are about 2 and a half years apart and although she is younger than me she is wise beyond her years. She knows exactly what to say to make others feel better. We will cry and laugh together about the dumbest things. Even though we do have disagreements sometimes and argue about the smallest of things at the end of the day if either of us needs the other we are right there. Right there to be the shoulder to lean on, to give advice, talk, or even just sit and enjoy each other’s company.
#30.Describe a time when you lost your "shhhh"and in reality was not worth your energy
I cannot think of a specific time when I reacted in a not-so-appropriate manner. I do know that I can do this quite often. I do choose my battles. My issue is that I tend to choose the wrong ones. I hate confrontation so I try to avoid it even in times when I probably should speak up. Then there are days when I'm just not in the best mood or mindset and something small that someone does tick me off. Or when I can't get past someone’s behavior but I keep that negative energy, being biased on how I act towards. Sometimes I'm proud of myself for speaking up at that moment because if I hadn't then things wouldn’t have changed or the person wouldn’t have known how I was feeling. Other times I know I could have reacted so much better and I feel bad for letting it all out. I think it’s important to choose our battles wisely but also not to be so lenient on certain issues because sometimes some issues do need to be discussed and felt.
#31. Explain a time when you were in a bad mood,how did it effect your day? Vice versa
When I'm in a bad mood, as mentioned previously my attitude towards others can become pretty biased. If you do one thing to tick me off there is a possibility that I will get really upset or just feel like my day has been ruined. This is something I need to work on. Controlling my perspective of things when I'm not in a good mood. When I’m in a good mood, I don’t even let the bigger things bother me. I take a few deep breaths and try to overcome the issue. I feel like I can be much more productive and motivated. Time seems to go by much quicker but yet things are still getting done. I remember a time specifically which was right before a leadership interview, I had a family issue. When it was time for my interview I was unconcentrated. A time when I was really happy was during my 16th birthday party. Everything seemed perfect and lightened up.
#32.See if you can apply this idea to something you are forced to deal with, explain your emotions and logic behind the situation?
For a while I was stuck on this idea, I rather not get into details about it but it was an ongoing cycle that was unhealthy. I realized how toxic the situation was but never tried to remove myself from the situation. I was letting it affect my life and bring me down. It’s hard trying to accept things as they are because deep down you hope things go the way you had planned and there’s a part of you that thinks you can do something to fix it. The truth is that this probably won’t matter 5 years from now so not to take it so seriously. Instead, use the situation as a lesson to become better and understand life. It's been hard trying to keep this mindset. I know what I have to do but it’s hard. At times I’m proud of taking myself out of that situation and then other times I think it would be less hurtful if I had not done anything about it. Which goes back to the idea of accepting things the way they are. Even if it’s difficult it gets easier over time and it’s something that takes a while to learn.
#33.You will not please everyone how does this statement sit with you and why do we tend to focus on the negative rather then the positives?
Naturally I am a people pleaser. I don’t necessarily do it to get people to like me but rather to not have people hate me. I normally do what others prefer because I don't want a conflict to arise. I know sometimes this isn’t healthy because at times I put others' needs before my own and I am the one who ends up hurt. I also need to learn to let go of those who don’t show the same care for me that I have for them. I always try my best to make sure everyone is happy but sometimes forget about my happiness and what’s best for me. We tend to focus on the negative side of things because that is what hurts us the most. Sometimes the positives that will help in the future are nothing compared to the negatives one will experience.
#34.Explain a time when you complete RAK,how did it make you feel?
A couple of weeks ago, my friends, who are twins, turned 18. My friends and their mom decided to throw a surprise birthday party for them. The planning was a bit difficult, especially trying to hide everything from them. We spent ours going out buying decorations and then the day of the party putting everything together. It was a bit stressful but it was worth it once seeing their reaction. They were not expecting anything and were so grateful for the thought and time we took to do it for them. It wasn’t exactly a random act of kindness but to them, it was because it was something small that made their entire birthday.
#35. DEscribe the meaning of loving-kindness
Loving-Kindness I would say it is being kind to all even with the smallest act like a smile when passing someone down the hall. I believe that being kind and loving is not difficult. I think it becomes difficult when forgiveness arises. When something happens in a relationship where being kind and forgiving is hurting you in the end, that simple act of kindness can become more difficult. This simple act also can become challenging when we aren't in the best place ourselves. When we are struggling mentally, during a time of frustration or simply it is just a bad day. We just have to remember to truly have the best intentions and try our hardest to be nice to all.
#36. What occurs when we practice compassion toward others and let go of "their story, Rather then get caught up in the drama of the situation?
I think when we start finding compassion and looking at the innocence it can be an eye opener. Sometimes I feel like someone's story does affect the way that they are. Some people, especially our age, lack maturity due to the way they were raised. They Truly don't understand what they are doing is wrong or how to fix it. Being there can honestly make a huge impact on that person. Though there is still a line that should be set as the boundary of when someone is doing more good than bad in your life. When you begin to realize the action of this person is negatively affecting you, you should start to distance yourself from this person
#37.Define equanimity, Do you practice this in your life?
I think for the most part I do practice equanimity. I hate conflict and will do anything to try to avoid it. Though sometimes I do correct people I do it out of a good place and not to cause any harm. It's so this person can learn or just not go off telling other people something when they are wrong. Other times I feel like people go on and on about a topic that is genuinely not nice or ridiculous. When this happens staying quiet becomes a bit more difficult. I might make a small comment or talk to them after. I try to not do anything that might embarrass me or the other person.
#38.In picking three people who would you choose and why?
In picking three people I would choose my parents and my brother. I think in general I don't say “I love you” enough. My parents are two of the most important people in my life, I mean are the reason I am alive. They have always been incredible parents who would do anything to make sure my sibling and I are happy. I don’t show nearly the amount of appreciation that I should and therefore I would tell them. My brother and I haven’t always met eye to eye. We’ve had some past issues that made our relationship difficult. We are working through it as a family. He is the only one currently that doesn’t live in the same household as us, so I don’t see him every day like I do my sisters or parents. Especially with him being away from us all, I'm sure he misses us and we don’t talk as much as we should. I know that time telling him how much I miss and love him would make his day.
#39. Describe a time when you saw an individual or a group lack humility. How did that make you feel about said individual/group?
I have someone in my life who does well in school. Like he's just naturally smart so he understands things quickly and can grasp a concept. I can spend hours studying and he will still get a better score than me. Whenever we do have a test he always tells me his score, he doesn't necessarily do it to brag but just because he's proud of himself and wants me to also be proud of him. Don’t get me wrong I am but sometimes he just brings it up when it isn't necessary. It can become a lack of humility when he knows I didn't do good on it and he keeps talking about how good he did. He sometimes forgets to think about how others might react to what he says. In this case, it made me feel a bit disappointed in myself but also a bit annoyed with him. Like I get down on myself for not doing better on this test but also keeping in mind the score I got and and not bringing up his score so I don't feel worse, could have been a better situation
#40. What is your perspective/ opinion of this article? Valid, or a waste of time?
I agree with this part of the book to a certain extent. I think helping others when they ask you to is good. Even taking on a task when not being asked is great. When a person is constantly asking for the same thing, that's when a boundary should be set. We have to be careful about how many chances we give people. Sometimes when they know we are willing we can be taken advantage of. So this chapter depends on the situation. Also, I think the person, like if you know something is going on in their life or their reasoning is valid then we should be considerate.
#41.Do you weatherproof?
I would say I weatherproof, and this is something that I need to work on. Although I would say I am an optimistic person and always try to see the good, there are some things that sometimes I focus too much on when I shouldn't. I don't necessarily mean to judge other people but situations. I am an over thinker so at times I let good things go because I feel like something is off or not going to go well. I also am very observant so I notice little things that many might not realize. For this reason, I can easily spot behavior or situations that don't seem right to me. I can use it to step away from a situation or person which is good, but there is a certain point where it might not be as bad as what I make it out to be.
42: Who do you choose to send love to at this moment?
The person I would choose to send love to at any moment including this moment would be my mother. My mother is the strongest person I know. Most of my morals and characteristics come from her. My mother has taught me to be a caring and confident young woman. She reminds me everyday day of my worth as I wake up to a meaningful text every morning. My mother always puts others' needs before her own even if sometimes they don’t deserve it. She has been there for me and has supported me in all that I do. My mother instantly knows when something is wrong, or when I'm stressed or not feeling well. Without even asking she’s already being extra kind, surprising me with all my favorite things. My mother loves me unconditionally, a love every person hopes to have, I have received from the moment I was born. I will forever be grateful for the love and life I have been given. My mother faces her own battles every day, she pushes through them while helping others face theirs. I truly wouldn’t know what I would do without her, much less know what kind of person i would have become. My mother is the person I would choose to send love to in this moment and every moment after it.
43: Reflect on the following: “judging others takes a great deal of energy and without exception, pulls you away from where you want to be”
I do believe there's two types of judgment, judgment where you choose what is best for you and judgment used to spread negativity. When you do it for the best, judgment is needed. Such as what kind of person you are becoming and who you want to be, what friends and type of people you surround yourself with. Judging if a scenario is safe or a good environment for you. These are all healthy judgments that will have a more positive outcome than bad. Whereas judging others for how they speak, look, or believe is judgment that we should try to avoid. This judgment causes harm to others and is unnecessary. We also have to learn what we should say outloud and keep to ourselves. Sometimes judging others (in our heads) happens but we have to remember to not say anything out loud and consider how that person might feel. We are all different and accepting those differences is important.
44. Why is it important to see the importance amongst one another in our small intimate circle to cultures around the world.
Living in a small town like Ripon, we are surrounded by a large diversity of people. I would like to say our school is diverse but there's still a large amount of things that a small community does not experience unlike other schools or areas. I think acknowledging these differences are important. It is how people learn and grow through others' thoughts and beliefs. Accepting that not everyone will be the same as us, instead of looking at it in a negative light, use it as a way to educate ourselves. Though sometimes we do tend to focus more on the similarities to find”our” people there are still many differences between each individual. I would say my best friend and I are alike in many ways such as our humor and morals. There are also huge differences such as certain beliefs, our physical appearances, how we have grown up, and cultures. We were brought together by our similarities but with our differences have seen two sides of a life and have grown from each other. She has learned much about the hispanic culture, and even began to learn the language. I have also been exposed to some of her family traditions and daily life which is much different than mine. Through each other we have been educated and this is why our differences have also been important.
45:What are some ways that you can help the spread of kindness toward others?
I think being kind is easy and I don't understand why many people are not. I believe that being kind to others doesn't only lift up the person you are being kind to buy all the one doing the action. Some simple acts of kindness I tend to do are giving compliments. Simply saying “I love your smile” or “you are too kind” can change the entire perspective of this person. Another way to spread kindness is by helping others, seeing someone who is struggling and offering to be a helping hand is one step onwards kindness. The easiest way I would say to be kind is to have a positive mindset, people tend to feel more comfortable to those who radiate positivity. Instantly making them feel safer and better just being around this environment.
46.Give someone a compliment via text message or dm. Who did you choose and how did it make you feel to support another person
The person I chose to give a compliment to was Vic. He has truly been one of the greatest and strongest support systems. When I feel lost or feel as if I'm not doing enough, he reminds me of all my accomplishments. He has a busy life himself and is constantly trying to improve and grow. He sometimes also forgets how incredible he is so this is the reason I decided to do it on him. I I told him he is an extremely hard worker and I really admire that about him. He said thank you and that he was having a rough day and hearing this made him feel better. He also added that sometimes he compares how much he's doing to others and feels like he isn't doing anything to better him or others. We ended up having a really great discussion on this topic and I felt like giving hima simple compliment led to not only him feeling better but me.
47. Discuss a time when you had self doubt and set limitations on yourself. How did you or how can you change this behavior?
This is a really recent example. This year the English department decided to make the speech mandatory for all high school students. I had been extremely busy so I wrote up an essay as quickly as possible and attempted to memorize the day off. I figured I only needed to do good enough to get a good grade not to go onto the next rounds. I ended up making it to the next two rounds and placed 2nd in the district. When I made it through the first round I was nervous to keep going. I also did not believe that I would even make it through. I let fear decide that I was not going to do it but then my parents and sisters encouraged me to try it. I reminded myself that if I believed I could do something it opened the possibility that I would. If I had not believed or even attempted to move forward I never would have had a place. I decided to not let fear hold me back and overall had a great turn out and learning experience.